Some of These Verses
by Wicked'elphaba-fiyero
Summary: Elphaba's pessimistic thoughts go against Fiyero's romantic ideals as they analyze songs together. Up Next: Baby. One-shot series.
1. Grenade

**(A/N: Hi! I've been remiss lately on Fanfiction. Here's just a short little blip of Fiyero and Elphaba analyzing the song "Grenade" by Bruno Mars. This will be a oneshot series of the two analyzing different songs. I'm open to suggestions)**

"I don't understand this song."

"It's pretty straight-forward, Thropp." Fiyero sighed.

"The man in this song is singing about the possible ways in which to inflict physical pain upon himself for a woman who does not even love him enough to care." Elphaba stared at Fiyero, "I don't understand how this song is considered romantic." For Ozian literature the students had been put into pairs to analyze song lyrics of modern Ozian pop culture. Very unwillingly, Elphaba and Fiyero had been put together.

"What do you know about romance anyway?" Fiyero asked, arching an eyebrow.

"I really don't have much of an opinion about it, but from what I gather, romance is generally represented by hearts, chocolate, certain types of flowers, candles, flying babies with weapons, that one I'll admit I don't understand-"

"Cupid, Thropp."

"Excuse me?"

"The flying baby with a weapon? Yeah, he's called cupid."

"The name is irrelevant. My point is that those are the sorts of things that make something romantic in our society, not suicide scenarios which end in certain body mutilation."

"You just don't get it Thropp." Fiyero sighed, "Here, just let me play the song again." He switched the music player back on.

_Easy come, easy go, that's just how you live_

_Oh, take, take, take it all, but you never give_

_Should've known you was trouble from the first kiss_

_Had your eyes wide open, why were they open?_

Elphaba abruptly stopped the music.

"See!" she exclaimed, "That proves that this song is stupid."

"What?" Fiyero furrowed his brow.

"The singer says that he should have known this woman was trouble from the first kiss because her eyes were wide open." Elphaba tapped her pencil victoriously. Fiyero did not get it.

"Yeah, so?"

"So? How would he know that her eyes were open if his eyes were not opened as well? He is a massive hypocrite! Hey you know what this reminds me of?"

"What?"

"When I was a child, we always went to the community swimming pool, and I convinced all of the other children that I could hold my breath for hours at a time underwater."

"Relevance?"

"We would all dunk our heads under water and stay down as long as we could. Of course everyone kept their eyes shut under water to avoid the painful sting of chlorine so no one saw when I actually surfaced. When I noticed the other children start to come up, I'd go down and they would all think I'd been down there the whole time!"

"Gee, clever Thropp." Fiyero sighed.

"I will admit that I was an extremely intelligent child." Elphaba said proudly.

"Yeah, you and every other kid in the third grade. You know I did the same thing." Fiyero said.

"Did not!" Elphaba exclaimed.

"What? How can you possibly know that?" Fiyero asked.

"You're not as smart I am." Elphaba shrugged factually, "And even though I did not know you as a child, I am very comfortable in my assumption that even in childhood you were not as bright as me."

"That was mean!"

"Everyone knows it, no use being offended by it."

"You know what, enough about the swimming pool, can we get back to the song please?"

"You're the one who indulged in the off-topic conversation."

"You _started_ the off-topic conversation!"

"Yeah, but you continued it."

"Did not!"

"You did too!"

"Fine. Now can we get back to the assignment?"  
>"I'm not stopping you-"<p>

"Okay so you say-" Fiyero angrily cut her off, "—that the singer was a hypocrite. I'm going to defend him. Maybe when they were done kissing he opened his eyes and noticed that her eyes had been open."

"She could have opened them at the same time as him." Elphaba shrugged.

"You can tell if someone's eyes just opened or have been opened." Fiyero rolled her eyes.

"Not always. And besides, what correlation is there between trouble and open eyes during a kiss?"

"C'mon, Thropp, everyone knows you don't keep your eyes open when you kiss somebody." Fiyero scoffed.

"That's a foolish practice. If you close your eyes, you can't see. People could easily miss their marks and end up kissing each other on the nostril or something."

"That has happened." Fiyero shrugged, relenting.

"You've kissed someone's nostril before? That must have been very awkward."

"What? No, not to me! Jeez-"

"Well you said-"

"Okay listen, the point is, you don't keep your eyes open during a kiss, alright?"

"No, I disagree. This girl was obviously taking precautions before kissing the singer to insure that she did indeed kiss him on the lips and not some other area of his face. Open eyes should not signify trouble, but should relay care and assurance."

"Okay, that's farfetched, even for you Thropp."

"No, what's farfetched is the superstition that keeping one's eyes open while kissing someone translates to future trouble in a relationship."

"You know what? Whatever, just listen to the song." Fiyero pressed play again.

_Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash_

_You tossed it in the trash, you did_

_To give me all your love is all I ever asked –_

_Cause what you don't understand is__  
><em>

_I'd catch a grenade for you __  
><em>_Throw my hand on a blade for you __  
><em>_I'd jump in front of a train for you__  
><em>_You know I'd do anything for you__  
><em>_Oh, oh__  
><em>_I would go through all this pain,__  
><em>_Take a bullet straight through my brain,__  
><em>_Yes, I would die for you baby;__  
><em>_But you won't do the same_

"That is just ridiculous!" Elphaba exclaimed, "Is he trying to impress her with how many sources he can come up with in which to injure or kill himself with?"

"He's telling her he cares about her!"

"No he's not, he's saying 'I know several ways in which to commit suicide, let me tell them to you'."

"No he's not, he's saying 'Hey, if you're ever in danger, I'll take the pain for you and keep you safe." Fiyero argued.

"If someone came up to me and said they'd jump in front of a train for me I would feel awful at the notion that I had driven a person to a suicidal resort!"

"He's trying to tell her how much he cares about her." Fiyero rolled his eyes.

"So you're saying that if someone is throwing a grenade at her, he will jump in front of her and catch it instead?"

"Yes, finally, you understand something!"

"So that she won't get hurt?"

"Yes!"

"What kind of environment is he in that grenades are just lollygagging through the air? And secondly, if he caught the grenade, it would blow them _both _up."

"Never mind."

"And jumping in front of a train? If she were standing in front of a train and he just strolled out and joined her, what good would that do anyone? It sounds like he did not think through these plans to impress her very well."

"You _really _don't get it."

"I don't blame her for not wanting to do the same." Elphaba shrugged, "All of those options he listed sounded very painful and unpleasant to me."

_Black, black, black and blue beat me till I'm numb__  
><em>_Tell the devil I said "hey" when you get back to where you're from__  
><em>_Mad woman, bad woman,__  
><em>_That's just what you are, yeah,__  
><em>_You'll smile in my face then rip the breaks out my car_

"Mad woman, bad woman, that just what you are?" Elphaba arched an eyebrow, "Lyrically those words are very elementary and sound ridiculous to me."

"Thropp-"

"AND-" she dropped her pencil on the table, "Although I am not religious, from what I gather, the devil is a religious character in the bible that is generally disliked by followers of God."

"Yeah, so?"

"So why does he want her to say hello to him for him? Is he interested in starting a friendly relationship with him?"

"What? Oz, no, okay, listen. He's simply implying that _she _is friends with the devil, you know, like she came from hell?"

"That's impossible." Elphaba crossed her arms, "It is impossible first because Hell does not exist-"

"Hey, you know some of us believe in God Elphaba." Fiyero said, looking skywards cautiously.

She ignored him, "But also it is impossible because if Hell is supposed to be beneath Earth, which would be in the mantle, it is physically impossible for a human being to live. If she were indeed to ever go to hell, she would not be able to come back. She'd disintegrate into ashes, and even her ashes would disintegrate into nothing."

"Well then how do you explain the devil's survival down there?"

"To humor you and other sharers in the belief, I will have to assume that the devil is some sort of mythological creature that can tolerate blazing degrees of heat and flames, though that is utterly ridiculous." Fiyero looked up again superstitiously. Elphaba looked up too, confused, "What do you keep looking at?"

"Nothing, I'm just checking for angry, smoldering and fatal lightning bolts coming our way." Fiyero shrugged.

"I don't understand."

"You know," Fiyero shrugged, "Sometime's God likes to strike down blasphemy spreaders with bolts of lightning." he gave her a pointed look.

"I was always told that he loved everyone."

"Not crazy weird blasphemy spew-ers!"

"Fiyero the only thing up there is clouds, many people have flown in airplanes in the sky and several people have traveled to space. Not once has a man been spotted up there. It would be-"

"Physically impossible, I know."

"There is no evidence that God or his mythical son ever existed. Do you even know who wrote the bible Fiyero? There is nothing definitive or even minimally real about it. It's a novel, it's fiction. You could be reading and worshipping a book written by—I don't know…a man living in a cardboard box down the street! You evolved from a monkey, there is no tiny little red man with a pitchfork and horns living beneath us, nor is there a bearded man in a white toga flying above us."

"Okay, when you say it like that, you make it sound stupid."

"It is stupid." Elphaba shrugged.

"No, it only sounds stupid because you phrased it like that."

"The phrasing of a description of something cannot market whatever was being described as being stupid or not. Facts are facts and your beliefs are ridiculous."

"You know what, fine, you may think you're so smart, but I can make you sound stupid, just let me phrase it differently."

"Go for it." Elphaba shrugged.

"Okay, fine. Elphaba Thropp is just a stupid little college girl with stupid conspiracy theories and stupid criticisms of the almighty creator of Oz and humans."

"You used the word stupid, that doesn't count." Elphaba said, "And may I point out that I am much smarter than you?"

* * *

><p><strong>(AN: Hope you enjoyed! I'm thinking for the next song they'll analyze "As Long As You're Mine"? Which is _their _love song. lol)**


	2. Baby

**(A/N: So many reviews! Thank you for all the suport! I just found out I get to go to another Idina concert, soooooo excited even though it's not till November. I know I said I would do "As Long As You're Mine" but I actually think I'll save that one for later since it's so special and all lol. But here's an even BETTER song! lol jk, that wasn't even a little bit true lol )**

"Miss Elphaba, Master Fiyero, I am partnering you two up again." Professor Kramer announced.

"Partnering us up for what?" Elphaba asked, glancing at Fiyero.

"The Ozian pop culture lyric assignment."

"Professor, we've already turned that assignment in." Elphaba said, "We turned it in last week. If you lost the paperwork, I have another copy in my room." Elphaba found it was always useful to make copies of her work, especially when so many of her professors misplaced them or in some cases, ate them.

"I haven't lost it, but you both definitely failed it." Kramer said.

"I beg your pardon?" Elphaba blanched.

"What?" Fiyero cried indignantly, "How could we fail? My partner was Thropp! _Thropp_!"

"The assignment was to choose a song and to analyze it. Then after proper discussion you were to come up with a _unified consensus _as to what the song meant and stood for, which means you need to _agree_. In your last assignment Mr. Tiggular wrote that the song represented a man's broken heart over a woman who doesn't love him, while you Ms. Thropp wrote," the Professor dug around a stack of papers on his desk before finding theirs, "…that the song demonstrated a man's illogical fantasies of his own death and his half-assessed plans to woo the spawn of the devil."

"You actually wrote that?" Fiyero turned on Elphaba bewildered.

"I told you I was going to!" Elphaba returned his wide eyed glance.

"To avoid an F, I suggest you two redo the assignment," Professor Kramer said, "To make things easier, I've assigned a song, which is quite popular with lyrics simple enough for both of you to follow." Fiyero clenched his eyes shut _please don't let it be Friday, please don't let it be Friday._ "Baby." Professor Kramer said, "I can't wait for the report." Fiyero cursed, now he wished they'd gotten "Friday".

* * *

><p><em>You know you love me, I know you care<em>

"Wait!" Elphaba immediately stopped the recording.

"WHAT?" Fiyero waved his arms widely. This would be a long day if she stopped after ever line.

"Sorry, but before the song goes further, is the singer male or female?" Elphaba asked, "I genuinely cannot tell." Fiyero choked on a laugh.

"Uh, does it matter?"

"Well, the singer's gender could possibly make this song in the perspective of a lesbian. I've never studied lesbian literature before…"

"It's a boy, Elphaba." Fiyero laughed.

"Really? Cause I could've sworn..."

"As unbelievable as it may seem, he is a boy, shall we continue?"

_Just shout whenever, and I'll be there_

_You are my love, you are my heart_

_and we will never, ever, ever, be apart_

"Ich, I would hate to be in a relationship with him." Elphaba crossed her arms distastefully.

"I couldn't agree with you more." Fiyero said.

"'We will never, ever, ever, be apart?'" Elphaba asked, "I find that after a certain amount of time and in certain situations that might become severely uncomfortable."

"I know what a little creeper!" Fiyero agreed in full.

"And how can he possibly know when she's shouting at any given time? What if she's in say…a different country?"

"Yeah, or like, the _basement_." Fiyero nodded, obviously expecting some sort of praise for that mind-boggler.

"Perhaps by 'shouts' he means…." Elphaba paused, "No, I highly doubt that he is old or mature enough to induce _those _sorts of shouts from anyone." Fiyero burst into laughter.

"Well duh, he hasn't even gotten his man voice, yet."

"I will agree that his voice sounds very feminine."

"Feminine? He sounds like Galinda." Fiyero and Elphaba burst into laughter.

_Are we an item? Girl quite playing_

"_We're just friends", what are you saying?_

_Said "There's another", and looked right in my eyes_

_My first love broke my heart for the first time_

"Now the fool's talking to himself!" Fiyero stopped the tape.

"I'm sure you talk to yourself too, Fiyero." Elphaba rolled her eyes.

"Well everyone talks to themselves," Fiyero mirrored her eye roll, "It's fine to talk to yourself, you just have to start worrying when you start talking _back_." Fiyero's eyebrow rose imploringly.

"Ahh…." Elphaba said, "…Interesting observation Fiyero, I believe you are im_ply_ing that the singer has some sort of mental instability." Fiyero laughed out loud.

"That's exactly what I'm saying." he laughed.

"And do you know what people with mental issues should do?" Elphaba asked, fighting a grin.

"NOT RECORD MUSIC!" Fiyero and Elphaba shouted in sync, "JINX!"they laughed.

"Perhaps in the future he should see his doctor before recording songs." Elphaba shrugged.

"Or he could just not record songs." Fiyero also shrugged. They both shrugged in synch, "That would work."

_And I was like, baby, baby, baby oh_

_Like baby, baby, baby no_

_Like baby, baby, baby oh_

_Thought you'd always be mine, mine_

"Whoa, hold on, this song is about an _infant_?" Elphaba asked.

"Well who else is an infant going to love?" Fiyero asked. There was a pause while Elphaba processed.

"Are you implying now that the singer is indeed a baby?" she asked slyly.

"Diapers and all." Fiyero nodded seriously. They looked at each other unblinkingly for a moment as though taking everything under serious consideration.

"Pahhh." they both burst into laughter again.

"This song is so unbelievably stupid!" Elphaba laughed.

"Unbelievably!" Fiyero agreed.

"What an idiot!"

"I know! What an asshole!"

"She's so—I mean he's so-!"

"Stupid!"

"Unbelievably stupid!"

"Let's fast forward!"

"This song sucks!"

_And I'm in pieces, baby fix me_

_And just shake me till you wake me from this bad dream_

_I'm going down, down, down, down_

_And I just can't believe my first love won't be around _

"Oh no Fiyero, he's in pieces what are we going to do?" Elphaba widened her eyes in mock hysteria.

"And he's ordering an infant to put him back together!"

"How ridiculous!"

"He's like 'You! Baby! Fix me!'"

"But I'm just a baby!"

"Do it!"

"I can't!"

"FIX ME!"

"It's kind of hard to fix him when the 'man voice' piece is clearly missing!"

"Ha! The man voice piece!"

"The man voice piece!"

"The man voice piece!"

"He doesn't have a man voice piece!"

"His man voice piece is missing!"

"SHHHH!" Fiyero and Elphaba looked over their shoulder to see the librarian glaring at them. Their laughter died slowly. Elphaba sobered much more quickly than Fiyero, embarrassed.

"We were acting very childish." she said, back in her regular voice.

"We were." Fiyero agreed soberly. There was an awkward silence as they both tried to collect themselves after acting so foolish. The song continued playing in the background and Fiyero awkwardly reached forward to stop it. Elphaba glanced at him.

"I won't tell anyone about the man voice piece if you don't tell about my impersonation of a baby."

"Deal."

_And I was like baby, baby, baby ooohh!_

_like baby, baby, baby nooooooooo!_

* * *

><p><strong>(AN: Admit it, you all sang along while reading! lol)**


End file.
